Empty Soul
Day 3 without him…the pain is not any lesser, but it increased. Here I am again, still up at 4am in the morning. He did not call me today as he has promised me last nite!
I had sleepless nites for the past few days. Didn’t sleep well last nite, or should I say this morning? Or it should be Saturday morning? Now my days and nites all turned upside down. Couldn’t sleep till 6/7am in the morning and drift in and out sleep for 2 hours or slightly more. I am depressed…turn in to bed after updating the blog this morning (wee hours or should I say last nite??), however I jerked awake everytime I closed my eyes. I heard voices…it was so scary! I could hear his voice shouting at me, but when I opened my eyes, I see only darkness and shadows casted by the car beams on the street. I closed my eyes and I heard a woman’s voice again, and this time I see darkness again! I was so freaked out, but my exhausted body and soul just couldn’t move…
I sms-ed him, guessing that he should be in morning shift and should be otw to work, hence he might reply me as DT is not around. No reply… Finally dozed off at 7 plus 8am after a few rounds of Eyes opening and closing game along with Power of Voice Teaser. Jerked awake around 9-ish. Checked for sms but nothing…I decided to try my luck and sms him again, thinking he will console me after knowing the sleepless nites ordeal. His reply was monotonous and I was hurt. "I do hope that you find someone better soon to help ease your pain". Why is he so eager to push me to any Tom, Dick and Harry? Am I that desperate to start a relationship or am I look slutty enough to just grab one guy to replace my lost love? IT TAKES TIME TO NURSE MY WOUND! I don’t think I am a Nympho. I admit I like attention, but I know what I can do or not do at the right time & situation.
I have yet to let this relationship goes, how How will I bear to let another guy get near me for a moment? This is not a Flirting game !
I thought that by going out, dragging more frens out to keep me accompany doesn’t really help. I tried to not think about him, but it kept coming back to me. I know I promised him this afternoon that I will get over it, but my heart feels like being stabbed by a knife whenever I thought about him having happy moments with his family - Giggling, chuckling away, out shopping and maybe stealing a quick peck on the lips from his wife when the kids are not looking! THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT WE USED TO DO. He told me that I always make him happy and make him laugh! He enjoyed the moments with me! But now, did he miz me too, wondering what am I doing and who am I with? Just like how I have been missing him? It hurts me thinking that he doesn’t even think of me and feel for me handling this whole ugly situation! To think that we just celebrated our Valentine Day just a week back, and we were such a lovey dovey couple!
I really do miz him alot, but I will try to leave him alone. I can and I will take on the sadness, loneliness, heartpain, painful road IN RETURN OF HIM TO BE HAPPY!
LYRICS
每当我在夜里想起你的时候 不知道你在哪头
心里没有许多许多的哀与愁 不知是否是永远的伤口
当你留下我一个人说走就走 其实我已知道你很难受
只是整个世界把你我分两头 割断情丝与占有
想起你我想爱的时候 相亲只能在电话里头
我真的好伤悲 好难受 不知道什么时候才是尽头
为什么相爱的人不能够在一起 偏偏换成了回忆
我带着你的照片找到海角天边 希望你会再出现
为什么相爱的人不能够在一起 偏偏换成了回忆
我就算忘记世界也忘记你 也忘不了我们有过的甜蜜
当你留下我一个人说走就走 其实我已知道你很难受
只是整个世界把你我分两头 割断情丝与占有
想起你我相爱的时候 相亲只能在电话里头
我真的好伤悲 好难受 不知道什么时候才是尽头
为什么相爱的人不能够在一起 偏偏换成了回忆
我带着你的照片找到海角天边 希望你会再出现
为什么相爱的人不能够在一起 偏偏换成了回忆
我就算忘记世界也忘记你 也忘不了我们有过的甜蜜
为什么相爱的人不能够在一起 偏偏换成了回忆
我带着你的照片找到海角天边 希望你会再出现
为什么相爱的人不能够在一起 偏偏换成了回忆
我就算忘记世界也忘记你 也忘不了我们有过的甜蜜
